The struggle with fertility

Last night I flicked on the TV and came across 60 minutes who were doing reruns of stories from 2011. There was an interview with Nicole Kidman. She spoke candidly about her struggle with fertility which I found refreshing and touching.

In my experience the emotions involved in a struggle with fertility are often not spoken openly about and yet more women than I think we realise are impacted. Nicole Kidman talks about "anyone that's been in the place of wanting another child, or wanting a child, knows the disappointment, the pain and the loss that you go through trying and struggling with fertility is such a big thing."  If I hadn't gone through my own struggle I doubt I would really appreciate the significance of these words.

I am sure we all know people who have had a miscarriage, undergone IVF or taken a really long time to conceive but do you really know what that journey has been like emotionally for them? It is an uncomfortable topic, something that is hard to articulate when you are going through it and something people feel awkward asking about ... so conversation remains polite and matter of fact.

My first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage at 11.5 weeks - I was devastated by this at the time. Then it took a further 12 months of actively "trying" before we conceived again. During this 12 months I felt as though I would never fall pregnant, never become a mother. I found it hard to talk about my emotions during this time as I didn't want to be "tiresome" to my friends but on the other hand it was such a significant part of my life that I needed to be open about it.

But I also wonder if this is just me ... perhaps there are groups of friends who do share very openly the pain involved when you struggle with fertility. I am really interested to hear from other on this.

I believe that our journey as mothers is easier when we can be truly open with others about our experiences, our good days and our bad. It is through openness and acceptance that we see we are not alone.

Linda x