August 2010

Mum-upmanship: Celebrity Mums, please keep “Mum”!

The term “Mum-upmanship “ has been coined in response to the number of celebrity Mums who think their parenting decisions are not only right for them, but for the rest of the world, too.

Website www.mumsonthego.com.au coined  the phrase  “Mum-upmanship” after a recent spate of Celebrity Mums, including Model Giselle Bundchen, created furores over statements they made about their mothering choices being suitable for all mothers. Bundchen advocated laws for making breastfeeding compulsory,  a position she was later “forced “to apologise for.

Co-founder of Mums on the Go, Calli Brown, says that Giselle Bundchen’s comments are classic Mum-upmanship behaviour. “Whether conscious or unconsciously made, Mum-upmanship comments have the impact of making other Mums feel inadequate.”

“They are typically comments that create a perception that the woman has a perfect life and a perfect baby and if you aren’t enjoying or coping with motherhood as well as they are , then it is your fault.”

“In Ms Bunschen’s case, some women are unable to breast-feed, and some just don’t enjoy it. However , these Mum-upmanship comments make them feel like their choice or isn’t a valid one for her or her baby.” Ms Brown said.

“I want Mums out there to know that most of the time when Mums utter Mum-upmanship comments, it is actually because they themselves feel inadequate, and are trying to feel better at the expense of other Mums.”

“This is especially so in the case of Celebrity Mums. They are under an enormous amount of pressure to have a perfect life after having a baby - returning  to their pre-baby weight is just the start of the expectations the media, and us who consume it, place on them.”

Ms Brown has advice for Mums when caught in a Mum-upmanship conversation. “When you are starting to feel hurt,  think to yourself that it is really them that feels inadequate. The conversation is not always intended to make you feel bad, but her feel better, at your expense.”

ENDS

Calli Brown is a qualified Life Coach and co-founder of Mums on the Go
She can be contacted by mobile: 0416 171 067 or email calli@mumsosnthego.com.au

Mums on the Go was established to help all mums value their needs as much as they value their childrens. It asipres to provide a nurturing supportive community where all women despite their choices feel included and welcome