News
Categories
Men's Room > Working and Parenting: Finding the balance
By James Windsor
December 16, 2010
By James Windsor
December 16, 2010
As a stay at home dad, initially I struggled with the idea of leaving work full time to be at home with the kids. Many thoughts go through your head – will you go crazy, will you get rusty, will you lose touch with your networks, professional and social? After making the decision and settling into a parentally manic but otherwise idyllic life of hanging out with the kids every day, I didn’t really feel the need to question my choices.
Fast forward a couple of years and I’m past the tough part – my eldest is now in school, my boys are in preschool a couple of days a week, and my youngest is almost potty trained. The transition to this easier phase convinced me to put some of my energy into other pursuits, and I was surprised to find that with very little effort I was able to get part-time work in a sales and marketing role.
I decided to go back for several reasons; mostly I felt that it would serve me well to get out of the house a few days a week, and to keep my skills sharp and my network current. Now that I’ve been doing it for a while I’m glad I went through with it. I’m able to strike a decent balance between time with my kids and getting the adult conversation and intellectual stimulation that comes with working in a successful business. It’s been smooth sailing so far. For anyone thinking of trying to do the same, I can offer a bit of advice.
Do it for the right reasons – reasons that are important to you. Some of the dads I speak to about this seem to fret over whether the economics make sense, but the benefits and costs are more complex than that. You want to get paid – but odds are you can trade some of the compensation you ‘deserve’ for other things of greater value, like flexibility. Some examples:
• Set clear expectations on the number of hours you can work
• If you need to spend time in ‘the office’, aim for specific days of the week, so you can plan child care around those days
• With your manager, focus on your targets and outcomes, not 'desk time'
• Make sure you have the technology to support working anywhere, anytime – I use remote storage for my files, and make extensive use of an iPhone – for calls, email, and as a mobile internet connection for my laptop
Returning to work on my own terms makes a huge difference – I get a lot out of it, I still spend lots of time with my kids, and it’s great value for my employer. I estimate I contribute nearly full output at a fraction of the cost of a full time employee. Sure I don’t stay at the office late, nor do I go around the country on business trips. But by all measures so far, everyone is winning.
James Windsor is a father who chose to stay home with 4 kids under the age of 4. He is the founder of careerdad.com, a site for stay at home dads. James is based in Sydney, Australia.
Directory Members Search Widget
 |
 |